Again? Really??

So, today has been another hard one here at the Epperson household. I don't mean to bum any of you out by relaying the awful circumstances that life has thrown at us, but I just need to write right now so bear with me.

Chris was gone this weekend again to LA doing a shoot for a Chinese concert of some sort. Whenever he goes, he travels with his "boss"/co-worker, Matt. Well, these two, from what Chris has told me, have seemingly become quite "two peas in a pod" since he has started working at the studio. Anyway, for this weekend, Matt had gone out earlier in the week so Chris drove out separately early Friday morning. They had a great weekend and long story short could have stayed one more night but Matt missed his family since he had already been out there all week and he wanted to come home. They left LA at midnight last night. I get a call at 6:00 this morning from Chris and he says "I'm ok, but Matt was in an accident. I think he's ok, but I just don't want you to worry about me. I'll call you in a bit when I know more."

If you know me, I am my mother's daughter and a big time worry wort! So, I immediately got on my knees and offered a prayer for Matt. I got as far as "Heavenly Father, please bless Matt..." and that's all I could say. I wanted so badly to finish the thought with "that he will be ok and he will recover fully" but I just could not bring myself to say it. It was then that I knew. My mind went spinning. Chris called me about 1/2 hour later and confirmed what I felt in my heart. Matt was gone.

Again, the spinning. That could have been Chris. Oh, and his wife... what about his wife?? (8 months pregnant with their 3rd child) and Holy crap... this is the 6th death of someone we know in a matter of 3 months. What is going on?? I really can't make sense of it all at this point. I have such torn emotions that I am just sick for his family yet so grateful that this once they drove separately. I'm really really at a loss this time. Why are so many of our friends leaving too early (or what seems to us like too early) with so much in their lives unfinished? I don't get it.

Chris is dealing well with everything right now. He says he is sure he's still in shock about it all because it hasn't really sunk in yet. But he is a strong man. He said "Sometimes I wonder if I don't react to these situations enough, but I think I'd rather just think as positively as I can. It just feels better, you know?" Yeah, I know. Here I sit crying my eyes out worrying that he or someone REALLY close to me is next and there he is, witness to it all and the one directly affected, thinking positively. I really do have an amazing husband. He is such an inspiration to me always! So what do I do now? I try to follow his example and think positively because I can't live in fear, right?